1-Year-Old an Orphan After Mom Dies of Embarrassment Following Evite Error
If there’s one thing a one-year-old will remember about their first birthday, it’s nothing. Which is a shame since one tyke’s mom invited all 487 of her contacts to the kid’s birthday party. Here’s hoping they all brought shiny things.
By Bram Teitelman · May 2, 2024
Disclaimer: While this article is based on mistake-free facts, it does contain an entire contact list of satire.
Which of these two things are you more likely to remember for the rest of your life? A rager of a birthday party celebrating a big birthday milestone, or a simple mistake that you made while using an app?
Okay, let’s flesh this one out a little more. What if the birthday party was your first, and what if the simple mistake you made was, oh, I don’t know, inviting everyone in your goddamn contact list - EVERYONE - to your kid’s first birthday party. Not just friends and family, but “Mike receding hairline,” “Joe bad-kisser,” and some, but not all, of your co-workers, to name a worst-case scenario.
San Jose teacher Emily King had a birthday party for her daughter’s first birthday party, as one does. She used Evite to invite guests but clicked on the “import contacts” button, when creating the invite, which seems okay if you were going to select said contacts instead of inviting every last one of them.
Unfortunately for her 487 contacts and especially for King, it invited every single one of them. “I want you to just take a second and think about everyone stored in your phone and how they’re stored in your phone,” King said in a now-viral Tik Tok. “And then imagine someone receiving an invitation… ‘Derek Eye Roll.’ He received an invitation. ‘Jess Hit Her Car In Parking Lot.’”
"I have to quit or get a new identity"
Responses to the invite were, of course, muted. “Typical Emily,” Derek thought, rolling his eyes. Jess couldn’t make it either since she couldn’t get a ride there. And then there’s the fact that it’s a one-year-old’s birthday party, which doesn’t seem that much fun for anyone except the kid, who will play with the wrapping paper more than the gifts.
Perhaps one of the cringiest things about the whole situation was that some of her students were invited, but not all of them, she told Today. So, if you thought your teacher played favorites before, you definitely know now. She went through the 487 contacts and trimmed it to only 70, telling the outlet that “New science teacher, I think,” and “David parking lot attendant” were among the names cut.
Aside from King’s sudden viral fame, there’s a silver lining to King’s embarrassment. Evite told Today that they’d created what they called the “Emily Hotfix,” an app update that removes the “select all” function. They also gave her a $250 DoorDash gift card, which is nice for the kid’s party, but probably would’ve been better as a cash donation to go toward the extensive therapy she’s sure to need.