Odd News Show

Not a Capitol Offense: Covert Gardener Plants Cannabis in State-Owned Tulip Bed

Outside the state capitol building in Madison, Wisconsin, some unexpected guests popped up (literally): Cannabis plants. Call us! We know exactly what to do!

By Katie Compa · May 25, 2024

Look at all that beautiful flower! Er, all THOSE beautiful flowerS. Warren LeMay/Flickr

Just outside the Wisconsin State Capitol building in Madison, an out-of-the-ordinary crop was found growing in a tulip garden: giggle smoke, Mary Jane, reefer, wacky tobaccy—that’s right, pot. The state’s mystery vigilante gardener hid their cash crop in plain sight—maybe even a little too plain: dozens of pot plants were found among the bed of 25,000 tulips, which in the springtime attract citizens and tourists alike.

A spokesperson confirmed that after the discovery, workers had removed the plants, but couldn’t confirm if they were marijuana (with THC) or hemp—useless from the perspective of getting anybody high, but fantastic for making hemp clothing, hemp vegan butter and hemp tofu, plus we assume that rounding out the list is hemp-based all-natural deodorant. 

Hey, quit judging. Even Founding Father George Washington grew hemp (we’ll stop right there with the history because we all know he did not personally manage his own farm). This is definitely the coolest thing that went down at his house.

In fact, it still is: Since the spring of 2018, the organization that runs Mount Vernon has planted hemp “to expand its interpretation of George Washington’s role as an enterprising farmer.” The hemp is harvested in the summer, dried, and then put to work in fiber-making demonstrations at the museum.

Again, pro tip: these plants will NOT get you high.  David Fulmer/Flickr

Evidently, the plants outside the Capitol Building in Madison were harvested and destroyed, which we fervently hope means “destroyed” (wink, wink) and that it didn’t go to waste—we feel certain that some University of Wisconsin botany students would be more than happy to help with the disposal.

Despite years of advocacy from Democrats, Wisconsin still hasn’t decriminalized weed (what are you waiting for, you narcs?! Even Joe Biden, who is basically the same age as George Washington, is cool!), instead proposing a medical-only program wherein weed would only be legally granted for severely ill people with diseases like cancer, they wouldn’t dispense marijuana flower that can be smoked, and would force patients to buy from only five locations in the state. 

If there’s one thing people who are acutely sick absolutely love, it’s being made to go on an unnecessary road trip to get their medicine. People on the edge of the state already drive to dispensaries on the borders with adjoining states. Wisconsin is known as a “no-weed island” and is surrounded by way, way cooler neighbors (we’re looking at you, Michigan!).