Odd News Show

Nature

Aye-Aye Bye Bye? Nocturnal Marvel Faces Extinction

A nocturnal lemur from Madagascar, the aye-aye, uses its elongated middle finger for percussive foraging, aka getting to third base with female aye-ayes. Despite its fascinating adaptations, it faces threats from jealous locals who can’t please their women.

By Odd News Show Staff · March 19, 2024

Aye-Aye Captain

Disclaimer: Although based on pure Madagascan facts, this article does contain a middle finger of satire.

The aye-aye (Daubentonia madagascariensis) is a fascinating and peculiar primate native to the island of Madagascar. The world's largest nocturnal primate, it possesses features distinguishing it from other lemurs and primates. How does one become the largest nocturnal primate? First, the aye-aye lies awake at night thinking about the embarrassing moment when the barista said “enjoy your coffee” and the aye-aye replied “you too.” Then it stress eats until dawn.

Despite its intriguing adaptations, it faces significant threats and challenges to its survival, including superstitions held by the local population, who believe that the aye-aye uses its big ears to eavesdrop on their conversations. It is currently designated as "threatened" on the International Union for the Conservation of Nature's Red List.   Ze Frank/YouTube

Don’t Call Me A Rat

The Aye-Aye's appearance has led to misconceptions in the past as scientists once thought it was a rodent due to its continuously growing rodent-like front teeth... and because it was found teaching four teenage turtles ninja skills in the sewers of Madagascar.  David Haring/Facebook

white guard hairs.Aye Was Here First

It is not a rodent but a highly specialized lemur, a type of prosimian, that evolved before monkeys and apes. The prosimians are the hipsters of primates, always mentioning how they evolved before it was cool.

It is the world's largest nocturnal primate, around 15 inches long, weighing about 5.5 lbs, and has a body-length fluffy tail and thick dark fur with adjustable white guard hairs. To put that size in perspective, you could fit 5 aye-ayes in your carry-on luggage without raising suspicion, and there are some guys on the dark web who will pay you handsomely for your efforts.     Ze Frank/YouTube

Something for E.T. to Phone Home About

The most remarkable adaptation is its elongated middle finger, reminiscent of a human shoulder. Equipped with a ball-and-socket joint, this finger can rotate nearly 360 degrees, making it a vital tool for freaking out other animals, and for the percussive hunting technique. Measuring nearly 3in in length (although some aye-ayes claim its bigger... don't they all?), this long digit serves a crucial role in the aye-aye's foraging behavior.   Ze Frank/YouTube

Percussive Hunting aka Tap Dat Ass

Similar to woodpeckers, aye-ayes use their middle finger to tap on tree trunks and branches up to eight times per second. A method called percussive foraging, this tapping serves to locate grubs within tree chambers by listening to echoes and feeling vibrations. It also serves as the primary source of pleasure for female aye-ayes and some open-minded monkeys.

Once their food is identified, aye-ayes use their teeth to open holes in trees and employ their middle finger as a delicate grub dipstick. The female aye-ayes love that dipstick, although they often have to remind the males not to use teeth when opening holes.   Ze Frank/YouTube

GrubHub

Surprisingly, the specific adaptation to insect-eating doesn't limit its diet to grubs. This omnivorous primate also consumes seeds, fungi, eggs, and fruits, adapting to various food sources in its environment.  However, it still finds sushi yucky.  David Haring/Facebook

Do Your Nips Hang Low?

Their nipples are inguinal, meaning they're located on the lower stomach, just like human women over 80. Following the rule of one-half, the aye-aye's litter size is, on average, half the number of its nipples, typically having one offspring at a time. One conservationist working to increase the aye-aye population suggested adding extra nipples. He was fired.  Mark Dumont/Flickr

Bone To Pick

Research has uncovered a less endearing trait of the aye-aye – nose-picking. Video footage captured by researchers shows that it uses its long middle finger to pick its nose and then consume the collected nasal mucus. However, the aye-aye denies that it was picking its nose and insists it was “a scratch.”

While this behavior may seem peculiar, the study suggests that nose-picking is not isolated to this species and has been observed in at least 11 other primate species, including humans. Yes, someone gets paid to study this. Researchers speculate on various reasons for this behavior, including the possibility of "self-cleaning," sensory preferences such as texture and saltiness, and potential immune system benefits. Remember those excuses next time you get caught picking your nose.  Natural History Museum/YouTube

What’s The Point?

Unfortunately, the aye-aye faces threats due to local superstitions. An age-old belief dictates that if it points its middle finger at you, you must kill it, leading to instances of killing or poaching when encountered and contributing to its vulnerable status.  Researchers have tried to teach local communities that pointing the middle finger is just the aye-aye’s way of saying “go f**k yourself” but that it's too cowardly to act on this threat.  Duke Lemur Center/Facebook

Aye-Aye Yai

The aye-aye's habits, coupled with its adaptations for survival, make it a captivating subject of study. However, it faces challenges in terms of conservation and there is a need for increased awareness and efforts to protect this vulnerable species. Shedding light on ecological significance and dispelling superstitions, conservationists and researchers can work towards the continued existence of this remarkable primate in the wild. The female orgasm depends on it.  Ze Frank/YouTube