Odd News Show

No More 1234: Brits Say Cheerio to Obvious Passwords

The UK has become the first country to enact laws against common login passwords, so Britons will have to use more creative ideas than just “fishnchips4life” or “GreatBritishBakeOffRules”.

By Gabe Herman · May 7, 2024

British folks can find password inspiration from objects they see around them in everyday life, like a tea set, or a plate of bangers and mash, or a framed portrait of the Spice Girls. Mohamed Hassan/Stockvault

Disclaimer: While this article is based on Pr0p3r_F@ct$, it has been hacked with a kerfuffle of satire.

The United Kingdom has passed landmark laws against generic online passwords, meaning many British lads and lasses will have to change their favorite codes, or “favourite” codes, as they incorrectly spell it.

Chaps over there will have to think of more original passwords than the usual “EnglishBreakfastTeaOrDeath,” or “ILoveMonarchy.” If a password is deemed too ordinary or easy to guess, the Brit will be told to create a new one, something other than “SpotOfTeaGuvna,” or “Tea4EvaCoffeeSucks.”

Some of the most common passwords in the UK last year were “password” and “123456,” along with “qwerty” and references to various soccer (or “football”) teams, including “arsenal,” “chelsea,” and “liverpool.”

Keep your smart fridge secure: You don't want a tragedy like your refrigerator telling you that you have three clementines when, in fact, you have four tangelos.  les.goprime/Instagram

“I was surprised that none of last year’s most common UK passwords referenced tea,” said an American security expert. “Call me a bigot, but I thought that Brits love tea more than anything else in the world.” The bigot continued, “People can draw inspiration for creative passwords from objects around them, which might include a tea kettle, a tea set, other tea-related items, a plate of fish and chips, or a portrait of Elton John, which I assume hangs on every wall in the UK.”

The new UK laws don’t just require secure passwords for phones and computers, but any device connected to the internet, including smart appliances in the home like televisions, refrigerators and doorbells.

Keep your smart TV secure: Don't let some outsider mess with your recordings of hour after hour of championship badminton programming.  Public Domain Image/Wikimedia Commons

“It’s vital to have secure passwords as more home devices use smart technology,” said a leading analyst in the security field. “Because it’s a nice modern-day feature to have your curtains open and close automatically for a day or two, before the device breaks and you have to spend weeks trying to call the smart-curtain company, constantly waiting on hold as you try to find out what happened, as the stress slowly builds and sucks your will to live.” He added, “All because it was briefly amazing that you didn’t have to move the curtains yourself, which you had previously been doing your entire life without complaint or hassles of any kind. So be sure to keep your passwords secure to enjoy all the wonderful conveniences of modern home living.”