Odd News Show

Buzz-ted: Woman Finds 50,000 Honeybees Behind Kid’s Bedroom Wall

When your 3-year-old tells you there’s a monster in her closet, best to give her the benefit of the doubt. In the case of Ashley Class from Charlotte, North Carolina, the sounds her toddler heard turned out to be a hive of 50,000 honeybees.

By Liz Days · May 20, 2024

Rush Hour at Bee Central Terminal. Boba Jaglicic/Unsplash

Disclaimer: While this article is buzzing with sweet facts, it does also contain some stinging satire. So keep your EpiPen handy.

It’s not uncommon for a child to have a fear of monsters in their room—under the bed, in the closet, or dancing creepily at the window with a bathroom emergency. However, for Ashley Class’ toddler, the “monsters” she was hearing were actually real live honey bees that had been building up and making honey behind the walls over an 8-month period. All she had to protect herself was a water bottle her mom told her was “monster spray”, effective against certain groups of monsters, yes, but, shockingly, completely ineffective against flying insects.

After months of the toddler living in the midst of an unsweet hidden horror, her mom Ashley noticed bees swarming around the chimney of their 100-year-old farmhouse (good thing Santa Claus wasn’t comin’ to town) and called pest control. Breakfast with Buzz, the Honeynut Cheerio cereal mascot, would begin taking on a new sinister persona for Class’ terrified child. And the shock was felt on both sides of the wall.

Worker bees are still talking about where they were during The Great Invasion of Spring 2024.  Damien Tupinier/Unsplash
“As the Queen, I, of course, tell my workers and drones that I will hear their concerns, but we don’t really have time for rumors and dissent in my colony, so most of the time I'm not paying much attention. But Kelmar kept insisting that there was a monster on the other side and seemed highly disturbed by the thought of it. I assumed he was just letting his imagination run wild ("Bees be Beein’" as the brood says), simply repeating stories he’d heard buzzing around for five generations (about eight months in human years.)"

"I gave him some 'monster spray' to shut him up, but when a giant invaded our hive that fateful day, I finally believed his cries, in what some have referred to as ‘The Day Kelmar Was Right and the Queen Was Wrong’. He only lived for another week, so, thank Honey, I didn’t actually have to make such a treasonous day official.”
- Queen Bee, Farmhouse Colony
Honey, I Scared the Kid.  Jez Timms/Unsplash

The honey produced by this industrious colony is said to have weighed 100 pounds, which is more than the weight of Class’ own child. The damage caused is estimated to be around $20,000 out of pocket. If 100 pounds of honey fits into 200 8oz glass jars, and Ms. Class sells each jar for $10, how much money will Class earn to make her 38-pound toddler’s nightmares go away?

Answer: Nice Try. This math problem has no solutions for either party involved.

“They destroyed our home, our livelihood, our community, and we’re the monsters? A lot of us still have Bee-TSD from the event, and some lived out our last moments in the chaos of the invasion. We will never forget.
Oh, sorry. I gotta get back to Queen-bangin'.”
- Justin Bee-ber, Drone-Bee/Sex-Icon from the Farmhouse Colony

It looks like Ashley Class got a very early start on “The Birds and the Bees” talk with her young daughter. Heads up, kid: The birds are coming next year… but you have years yet to worry about the bats in the belfry.