Chinese Urinals Tell the Health of Your Pee for a Low, Low Fee
Are you healthy? If you pee in a Chinese urinal to find out, the answer is probably “no.”
By Elon Altman · May 5, 2024
Disclaimer: While this article contains a steady stream of truth, there are sprinkles of satire leaking through.
There are millions of public toilets in China, and sprinkled amongst them are new high-tech urinals that can test for health issues. For the low cost of $3 per pee, the urinals will test your pee for levels of dozens of health markers, such as Calcium, Vitamin C, Creatinine, Glucose, and pH balance.
Other toilets were already testing pH with a less scientific method; namely, if you pee in a toilet and you hear a sizzling sound and start boring a hole in the porcelain, your urine is highly acidic. There are also many public bathrooms where perverts volunteer their services to tell you how your urine tastes, but that’s something that the Chinese government is trying to crack down on.
Although some people have jumped at the chance to find out their health risks in a men’s room, others have been concerned that their health data is being streamed (literally) to third-party companies, and maybe even the Chinese government. There are serious worries that these urine test results can be used by employers to punish workers.
"If my urine has high levels of Vitamin D and my boss finds out, he'll know I have been spending time in the sun instead of 16 hours a day assembling smartphones."
Currently, the health-testing pee machines are only available on urinals, which limits them to men’s bathrooms only. The company that makes the urinals said that a women’s toilet version is in the works. The women’s model will be able to test for pregnancy and will offer to terminate the pregnancy for a small additional fee.
Although the urinals are only available in China, there are talks to bring them to the West where they could be very lucrative. With American healthcare being so expensive, the idea of getting a health screening at a truck stop bathroom might be very popular, and at higher prices than what is being charged in China.
If your doctor charges $60 for a co-pay, you may not blink at paying $20 for a co-pee.