Culture
Stellar Style: Fashion Dos and Don’ts For the Solar Eclipse
Have you figured out what you’ll be wearing to the grand cosmic fashion show also known as the 2024 Solar Eclipse?
By Missy Baker · April 8, 2024
Will You Have Out of This World Style or Be a Cosmic Catastrophe?
The sun and the moon aren’t the only ones who’ll be putting on a show during the upcoming solar eclipse. Millions of sun-watchers will be turning heads away from the sky with their showstopping day-to-night-back-to-daytime looks.Follow these fashion dos and don’ts, and you’ll be the star (or, umm, shadow?) of the celestial show. Heber Vazquez/Pexels
Don't: Basic Box
People will wish their corneas were fried when they see you rocking this basic a** cardboard box-over-the-face look. Unless you’re a cat or Gweyth Paltrow in the movie Seven, there’s no reason your head should be in a cardboard box, ever. Not even during an eclipse. Lower Columbia College/Flickr
Do: Pumpkin Head
The moon blocking out the sun is the ultimate goth move. Keep the spooky vibes going with this cute and casual pumpkin head ensemble. This look is vegan, gluten-free, and only moderately claustrophobic.Bonus: With a permanently carved expression of joy, absolutely no one will tell you to smile. Karen Irala/Pexels
Don't: Clear Bin
In theory, this look is a winner. All the comfort and style of putting your head in a box, with none of the unsightly cardboard hiding your perfect winged eyeliner from the world. Despite the positives, I think the reason you don’t want to rock this look at your eclipse viewing party is pretty CLEAR… plastic is so last season. Cottonbro Studio/Pexels
Do: Generic Mascots
Averting your eyes from the celestial event of the season is as easy as A-B-C when you slip into a generic children's character costume. Not only will you protect your precious rods and cones, but you can also make a few extra bucks price-gouging parents who are desperate to get a pic of you standing awkwardly next to their screaming kid.Pro-tip: If anyone asks, you’re not Cookie Monster or Elmo, you’re “Dessert Creature,” or “Big Red Idiot.” Sesame Street is a friendly place, but their copyright lawyers don’t play nice. Alejandro Mallea/Flickr
Don't: Paper Plates
Anyone wearing a paper plate on their face in 2024 should be served a citation from the fashion police. Paper plates are for picnics and depressed people, not witnessing the moon photobombing the sun in the celestial event of a lifetime.Is it safe? Yes. Is it economical? Sure. But is it fashion? I think not, honey. Karen McQuilkin/Flickr
Do: Eclipse Ensemble
Haters will say this look has no protective eyewear and you’ll go blind looking at the sun, but they’re just jealous of your matching eclipse shirt, eclipse pants, eclipse socks, eclipse shoes, and eclipse bucket hat.Hide your eyes? Pssht. Who on Earth, or any planet for that matter, would want to shield their eyes from a look that screams, “It’s not a phase (of the moon) Mom!”
In this "Eclipse Ensemble," you'll be on the path of totality looking awesome. MaxBrilliance/Etsy
Don't: Free Eclipse Glasses
Whether they come from a library or a business, or you’ve crudely made them yourself, true fashionistas will take a hard pass on the free eclipse glasses.Sure, your eyes will survive to peep another day, but how will you ever be able to look at yourself in the mirror again knowing you willingly sported these cardboard monstrosities in public? Tom Driggers/Flickr
Do: Slowly Transition Into a Werewolf
What better way to turn heads at the eclipse than by gradually turning your head from a human into a bloodthirsty werewolf? Depending on your location in the path of totality, you've got between two and four minutes to slowly sprout fur, fangs, and a fabulous sense of style.Whether you're howling at the moon or tearing a live chicken to shreds, you're sure to be the bell of the cosmic ball.
Today, fashion is spelled W-O-L-F. Nathan Rupert/Flickr
Don't: Wait
The Time to Shine is Now! Remember, the next total solar eclipse isn't hitting the US for another 20 years, so DO follow these fashion rules, and DON’T turn a blind eye to the importance of looking eclipse chic.And this should go without saying, but by all means, do not ever look directly at the sun! Tim Engle/Flickr