Elderly Drunk Sets World Record For Bar Crawl
If the rager you went on last night ended after three bars, a few shots, and a teary confessional phone call to an ex, a 69-year-old retiree is 40 times cooler than you are, and he’s got the world record to prove it.
By Bram Teitelman · April 21, 2024
Disclaimer: While this article is poured from pure hoppy facts, it does contain a layer of foamy satire.
What would you do if you didn’t have to work tomorrow? Head out to the pub and have a frosty adult beverage? Maybe two? How about going to another pub after - you’re on a tear, sport! But if you didn’t have to work at all, maybe you’d set a world record for visiting the most pubs in a day, topping out at an incredible 120. That’s exactly what 69-year-old retired accountant Lord David Clarkson did, shattering the old record by 21 and officially being recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records.
There were definitely some technicalities here. First and foremost, while Clarkson did hit 120 bars within 24 hours, all of which he walked to, he didn’t drink alcohol at the majority of them, instead sticking to juices and soda. That loses him some cool points, but if he’d had 120 drinks in 24 hours, this would be a remembrance of a man who died doing what he loved, and I’d be sobbing while listening to Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel.” Other things that constituted a “visit” included a paid transaction at each bar and drinking at least 125 ml of whatever beverage he chose, which is a little over 4 oz.
"Going to the pub is about, yes having a beer, but also making friends."
The epic bar crawl took place in Sydney, Australia, starting on April 11th. Lord Clarkson (Guinness states the Brit, who’s lived in the land down under for 40 years, calls himself a Lord, so we will too,) was an accountant, which helped him plan his voyage. He said his life is “travel, drinking, and spreadsheets,” two of which are really cool. Licensing data, pivot tables, and Google Maps helped him plan his quest.
He started midday and had Guinness World Records Adjudicator Pete Fairbairn, probably relieved not to be looking at another gigantic ball of yarn, with him for the beginning and end of the voyage. He also had friends with him to (perhaps literally) cheer him on and a logbook signed by someone at each pub to prove he was there. Clarkson wasn’t shy about his quest, talking to people at each bar and letting them know what he was up to.
While hitting five bars an hour for a day straight might have been exhausting, the cheeky bastard capped off his record-winning quaff-fest with a full pint of beer. Interestingly enough, the former record of 99 bars in a day that he shattered was also held by Australians, so put on your drinking hats, America - it’s time for a trip to the bars!