Flight Leaves Customers Upset After Taking Off… Early?
The empty plane left three hours early, just to make sure no one could possibly complain of a flight delay.
By Gabe Herman · October 10, 2024

Disclaimer: While this article is based on high-flying facts, it does also contain some jet-fueled satire.
For all the issues that airlines can have with delayed flights and unhappy customers, one recent flight said, “Hey buddy, I’ve got your delay right here,” taking off three hours early and leaving all—yes, all—passengers behind.
The stranded group of people—large enough to fill an entire plane, you might say—were left high and dry when a flight from Toronto to Karachi, Pakistan, left exactly two hours and 56 minutes early with no warning, check-in, or announcement.

“When we listed the flight’s scheduled takeoff time, we never said which time zone we were referring to,” said a PR rep, who was clearly grasping for anything semi-coherent to say. “People always complain about delayed flights, and now they’re complaining just because of a little thing like the plane leaving three hours early. You just can’t win with some people, I guess.”
When the pilot was later reached for a comment, he said, “Time is just a social construct anyway. I realize that now, after taking acid for the first time. You have to expand your mind, man, and just go with the aeronautical flow, and stop playing by their rules so much.” After the stranded passengers heard this comment from the pilot, they collectively said that, on second thought, they were happy to catch the next flight out.
After learning of this incident, New York City’s Metropolitan Transportation Authority, which runs the subways and buses, said in a statement: “While we don’t condone ever being early, or on time, in any capacity, we do appreciate and salute the terrible customer service that left people frustrated and with their plans ruined.” The MTA continued, “That is the kind of horrible service we also like to provide every day, and we applaud any airline that joins us in carrying out that mission.”