Three’s a Crowd: California Couple to Evict Huge Black Bear Who Moved Into Their Crawlspace
Having roommates is no walk in the park. Just ask one Sierra Madre couple who had a bear of a tenant move in and refuse to leave.
By Missy Baker · September 27, 2024
Disclaimer: While this story is full of grizzly facts, it also contains bear-ly detectable amounts of satire.
Bob and Susan Nesler didn’t anticipate sharing their home with a third party. Still, an imposing California Black Bear decided to move into the crawlspace under their residence in the San Gabriel Valley foothills anyway.
The Neslers live on the southern edge of the Angeles National Forest, where bear sightings are a fairly regular occurrence. Maybe that’s why the couple isn’t overly concerned about their new bear roomie, whom they’ve affectionately named “Junior.”
“It’s a great location, plenty of natural light, and the landlords are super chill about me being behind on rent.”
According to Bob and Susan, Junior is an ideal tenant (besides the whole rent thing) who’s quiet and keeps to himself. He’s a non-smoker, keeps guests to a minimum, and never blasts loud music after hours.
Junior typically leaves late at night for what one can only assume is his shift at “Goldilocks,” the all-night bears-only nightclub, and staggers home early, around 5 a.m., without bothering anyone.
“He does leave piles of scat,” Susan Nesler said. “That’s about my biggest complaint.”
Excrement aside, the Neslers have enjoyed having Junior around. He’s not only cute, but the added thrill of possibly getting mauled at any moment has really given the couple a new lease on life.
“Studies show, knowing your partner could get their scalp viciously ripped off by a huge black bear at any time can really spice up a relationship."
According to the US Forest Service, an estimated 25,000 to 35,000 black bears currently reside in California. Despite being called black bears, these animals actually range in color from blonde to black, with cinnamon brown being the most common hue.
Bob and Susan contacted the California Department of Fish and Wildlife regarding the bear’s rehoming, but the couple has gone on the record saying they only want Junior removed from their property if it can be done humanely, without hurting the bear or inconveniencing him too much.
Wildlife agents do have a plan in place for the bear’s eviction. Using the motion-activated cameras they’ve installed on the Neslers’ property, they will simply wait for the bear to leave his DIY den and close it up so he can’t return. Smart. No one wants to pop in unannounced on a 350-pound bear who’s busy trying to get his beauty sleep.
Agents suggest the Neslers remodel their crawlspace to make it a bit less inviting for any bears or other squatters in the area looking for a sweet place to crash. First order of business: cancel the trash can buffet and the free Wi-Fi. Bears hate that.
So what’s next for Junior? He’s looking forward to a fresh start away from the cameras and constant public scrutiny.
“I’m sick of the drama. I’m going off the grid for some serious me-time. Maybe nap for 3-4 months. I don’t know. I’m keeping my options open right now.”
Whatever direction Junior decides to take in life, the Neslers hope their former tenant will keep in touch and, above all, remember to leave their property a 5-star review on Bear BnB.