Entertainment
Your Totally-Not-Made-Up Weekend Horoscopes
Don’t make any weekend plans without consulting these highly authentic, never-fabricated, 100% fact-based weekend horoscopes. I’ve got the spiritual scoop on the next 72 hours, and the stars are telling me you should be on the lookout for sarcasm.
By Missy Baker · August 2, 2024
Your Odd News Weekend Horoscope
Want to know what the stars have in store for you this weekend? Look no further than these very real, totally accurate, definitely not fake Horoscopes. I've called upon my trusted sources in the great beyond to find out exactly what the future holds for all 12 Zodiac signs, even the duds.Will you go for the gold with your crush this weekend? Will you lose your life savings betting on Men's artistic gymnastics? Is everything I'm saying totally made up? Read on to find out!
No matter what star sign you were born under, one thing's for sure. You should absolutely, 100% without a doubt, base your entire life on everything you see here. Odd News Show
Aries
Namaste unconscious. Odd News Show
Gemini
Ain't no shame in your game. Odd News Show
Taurus
Put that bird away! Odd News Show
Cancer
You are NOT Simone Biles. Odd News Show
Leo
Credit scores are temporary, memories are forever. Odd News Show
Virgo
Success is overrated. Odd News Show
Libra
If only... Odd News Show
Scorpio
Busted! Odd News Show
Sagittarius
If anyone asks, it's your uncle's brother's neighbor's turtle's wedding this weekend. Odd News Show
Capricorn
This should definitely go on your resume Odd News Show
Aquarius
So unfair. Odd News Show