Entertainment
Your Totally-Not-Made-Up Weekend Horoscopes
Don’t make any weekend plans without consulting these highly authentic, never-fabricated, 100% fact-based weekend horoscopes. I’ve got the spiritual scoop on the next 72 hours, and the stars are telling me you should be on the lookout for sarcasm.
By Missy Baker · August 23, 2024
Your Odd News Weekend Horoscope
Want to know what the stars have in store for you this weekend? Look no further than these very real, totally accurate, definitely not fake Horoscopes. I've called upon my trusted sources in the great beyond to find out exactly what the future holds for all 12 Zodiac signs, even the duds.Will your summer romance fizzle or sizzle? Will your boss ever respect you? Is everything I'm saying totally made up? Read on to find out!
No matter what star sign you were born under, one thing's for sure. You should absolutely, 100% without a doubt, base your entire life on everything you read here. Odd News Show
Aries
The real MVP. Odd News Show
Gemini
That's Monday's problem. Odd News Show
Taurus
A cruel joke. Odd News Show
Cancer
Hair of the dog... literally. Odd News Show
Leo
They worship the ground you walk on. Odd News Show
Virgo
Eh, maybe next weekend. Odd News Show
Libra
Adults need notebooks too. Odd News Show
Scorpio
Don’t forget that bastard humidity! Odd News Show
Sagittarius
Who needs Ozempic? Odd News Show
Capricorn
Crushing it. Odd News Show
Aquarius
Namaste. Odd News Show