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Your Totally-Not-Made-Up Weekend Horoscopes

Don’t make any weekend plans without consulting these highly authentic, never-fabricated, 100% fact-based weekend horoscopes. I’ve got the spiritual scoop on the next 72 hours, and the stars are telling me you should be on the lookout for sarcasm.

By Missy Baker · September 6, 2024

Your Odd News Weekend Horoscope

Want to know what the stars have in store for you this weekend? Look no further than these very real, totally accurate, definitely not fake Horoscopes. I've called upon my trusted sources in the great beyond to find out exactly what the future holds for all 12 Zodiac signs, even the duds.

Will you be swept off your feet by a mysterious stranger? Does the universe really want you to quit your job? Is everything I'm saying totally made up? Read on to find out!

No matter what star sign you were born under, one thing's for sure. You should absolutely, 100% without a doubt, base your entire life on everything you read here.  Odd News Show

Aries

Start thinking now!  Odd News Show

Gemini

Trust your instincts... sometimes.  Odd News Show

Taurus

An embarrassment of riches.  Odd News Show

Cancer

You're an icon of health.  Odd News Show

Leo

Are you lost or just losing it?  Odd News Show

Virgo

Just don't let HR see it.  Odd News Show

Libra

True love has a tracking number.  Odd News Show

Scorpio

It's always the person you'd least expect.  Odd News Show

Sagittarius

It was fun while it lasted.  Odd News Show

Capricorn

Hell yeah!  Odd News Show

Aquarius

Stay cool.  Odd News Show

Pisces

One of the few perks of adulthood.  Odd News Show