Entertainment
Your Totally-Not-Made-Up Weekend Horoscopes (July 12‑14)
Don’t make any weekend plans without consulting these highly authentic, never-fabricated, 100% fact-based weekend horoscopes. I’ve got the spiritual scoop on the next 72 hours, and the stars are telling me you should be on the lookout for sarcasm.
By Missy Baker · July 12, 2024
Your Odd News Weekend Horoscope
Want to know what the stars have in store for you this weekend? Look no further than these very real, totally accurate, definitely not fake Horoscopes. I've called upon my trusted sources in the great beyond to find out exactly what the future holds for all 12 Zodiac signs, even the duds.Will your weekend plans be hijacked by a surprise visitor? Will sparks fly with the one that got away? Is everything I'm saying totally made up? Read on to find out!
No matter what star sign you were born under, one thing's for sure. You should absolutely, 100% without a doubt, base your entire life on everything you read here. Odd News Show
Aries
It can't be your dog's birthday every weekend. Odd News Show
Gemini
Take the midnight train goin' anywhere. Odd News Show
Taurus
You'll get burned. Odd News Show
Cancer
Comes in handy. Odd News Show
Leo
If the clown shoe fits, wear it. Odd News Show
Virgo
Follow your heart and your cart. Odd News Show
Libra
Feel the burn! Odd News Show
Scorpio
Your elastic waistbands deserve a break. Odd News Show
Sagittarius
Work hard, nap harder. Odd News Show
Capricorn
Where's Sherlock Holmes when you need him? Odd News Show
Aquarius
The pain is real. Odd News Show