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Your Totally-Not-Made-Up Weekend Horoscopes (July 5‑7)

Don’t make any weekend plans without consulting these highly authentic, never-fabricated, 100% fact-based weekend horoscopes. I’ve got the spiritual scoop on the next 72 hours, and the stars are telling me you should be on the lookout for sarcasm.

By Missy Baker · July 5, 2024

Your Odd News Weekend Horoscope

Want to know what the stars have in store for you this weekend? Look no further than these very real, totally accurate, definitely not fake Horoscopes. I've called upon my trusted sources in the great beyond to find out exactly what the future holds for all 12 Zodiac signs, even the duds.

Will your weekend explode with excitement or fizzle out before it gets started? Is everything I'm saying totally made up? Read on to find out!

No matter what star sign you were born under, one thing's for sure. You should absolutely, 100% without a doubt, base your entire life on everything you read here.  Odd News Show

Aries

Never too soon.  Odd News Show

Gemini

So. Many. Regets.  Odd News Show

Taurus

Your first clue is staring back at you... from the mirror.  Odd News Show

Cancer

Don't be a hero, Cancer.  Odd News Show

Leo

Your heart won’t be the only thing on fire.  Odd News Show

Virgo

You'll never be free.  Odd News Show

Libra

It's going to be loooong weekend.  Odd News Show

Scorpio

Good luck trying to blend in.  Odd News Show

Sagittarius

Put the lighter down.  Odd News Show

Capricorn

Hibernation mode activated.  Odd News Show

Aquarius

Maybe Uncle Sam can bail you out.  Odd News Show

Pisces

And they have the missing fingers to prove it.  Odd News Show