Flying Solo: German Woman Ends 10-Year Affair with Boeing 737
Break-ups are a real drag. Especially when your ex is a major hunk… of metal.
By Missy Baker · September 16, 2024
Disclaimer: While this story flies high with facts, it also contains enough satire to fill an overhead bin.
In a story that’s truly taken off, Michèle Köbke of Germany has decided to permanently ground her decade-long romance with a Boeing 737-800, whom she affectionately calls “Schatz,” German for “darling.”
Friends of the unlikely couple say they didn’t need air traffic control to see the split coming. It was a tale as old as time: she was a girl who wanted to settle down, and he was a massive titanium bird that spent most of his time soaring at 35,000 feet. Still, the couple managed to make their unlikely love story work for an impressive 10 years.
Since 2014, Köbke and her beloved Boeing have been flying high on love. Their unlikely love story included some truly memorable moments, like a passionate visit to the aircraft’s hangar, where she made headlines by planting a kiss on the plane’s fuselage. It was… awkward.
Many haters can’t understand being attracted to an airplane, but they’ve obviously never seen his propeller. Doubters be damned, Köbke was determined to prove this was no fly-by-night romance.
Köbke’s romantic ambitions even soared to the point where she openly fantasized about marrying her high-flying, albeit emotionally distant, beau. Ultimately, they never taxied down the aisle; the 737 just didn’t want to commit. Typical.
“Look, she’s a great gal, but you have to understand, a lot of people want to land me. I’m not trying to settle down with the first chick who checks out my cockpit, ya know what I’m saying?”
But life on the road, I mean the sky, is rough on any relationship. Sadly, the constant need for security checks and runway clearances was just too much for their love to handle.
Despite their long history, the relationship hit turbulence due to “physical distance.” Between the hours logged flying the friendly skies and long layovers chugging gasoline with the boys, no quality time together sent this couple on a one-way trip to Splitsville.
Despite the breakup, Köbke remains optimistic, stating that she and her aerodynamic ex are still “friends”—but let’s be honest, she’s going to be stuck on the no-fly list for the foreseeable future.
Köbke’s affection for an aircraft was more than just a frequent flyer fetish. It was an example of objectophilia—a romantic or sexual attachment to an inanimate object rather than a human being.
Dr. Björn Hedensjö, a psychologist specializing in objectophilia, explained that such relationships involve a one-sided exchange of emotions. Essentially, it’s like having a deep and intimate connection with a very aloof partner who never texts back. Sounds like dating in my 20s.
Michèle Köbke is moving on from her “Schatz” and is finally facing the reality that a woman-plane relationship is completely unnatural. She’s already been on several dates with a very special Greyhound Bus and is looking forward to seeing where he takes her… probably the bus station!
Though Köbke’s love story with the Boeing 737 has crashed and burned, it will forever hold a place as one of the greatest romances in aviation history.