Woman Names Kid After Restaurant Where She Gave Birth
Sometimes when a man loves a woman, they get together and that’s how babies are made. Sometimes when a woman gives birth to a child she didn’t know was having in a Golden Corral, that’s how babies get their names. Meet Tamaar Kylon Corral Woodfork.
By Bram Teitelman · June 25, 2024

Disclaimer: While this article is birthed from real events, it does contain all-you-can-eat satire.
When you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go… have a baby. That recently happened to North Arkansas resident Tayvia Woodfork, who found herself at a Golden Corral, as one does. She was with her family at the restaurant, where she experienced some stomach pain. Also, probably not the first person that’s happened to at a Golden Corral or any other place with an all-you-can-eat buffet. Per Today, she excused herself from the party of 11, and when she wasn’t back in ten minutes, her mom discovered her in the bathroom, where she promptly gave birth to the child, who she christened Tamaar Kylon Corral Woodfork.
Woodfork, who already has an appropriate surname for restaurant childbirth, was suffering from what’s known to medical professionals and freaked-out new parents as “cryptic pregnancy.” She was 37 weeks pregnant and hadn’t gained any weight or had any fetal movement until her trip to the GC. Her mom called an ambulance, and paramedics were still trying to figure out what was going on right up until she gave birth. The elder Woodfork decided to include Golden Corral in her son’s name, and the chain was very excited, not because she’d named her son after it, but because she was the first person ever to lose weight after a trip to one of their restaurants.
“As surprised as our team was at the news of a baby being born at our restaurant, we are truly honored to play such a momentous role in little Tamaar’s life. But no honor compares to having Tamaar carry on the ‘Golden Corral’ brand name in his own name, Tamaar Kylon Corral Woodfork!”
The chain gifted Woodfork some baby essentials and Golden Corral gift cards for the next time she’s pregnant. However, she’s not the first person to name her child after the restaurant where she gave birth. Sometimes, it even starts before then, like Joseph Burger King Humpty, who was named after the bathroom in which his mother once got busy. Charles “Chuck” E. Cheese Jones got his name after his mother gave birth in a cheese shop. James Food Court Mortimer wished his mom chose one of the specific restaurants in said food court to give birth in. And Arthur Treacher Neilsen’s mother gave birth to the child in one of their seafood restaurants, and her now-grown daughter regrets her name. “What kind of ‘Boy Named Sue’ bulls**t were they thinking?” she complained.