Wrap Party: Tacos and Burritos Are Sandwiches, Judge Rules
An Indiana restaurateur seeking to expand his business has been validated, along with many podcasters who relish in inane food debates.
By Gabe Herman · May 22, 2024
Disclaimer: While this article is nestled inside fresh-from-the-griddle facts, it does contain some fillings of satire. And cilantro.
Normally, the stakes aren’t very high for a food debate over what category a dish falls into. However, an Indiana judge’s decision that tacos and burritos qualify as sandwiches has allowed a restaurateur to open a new location and expand his business.
Fort Wayne, Indiana, which is world-famous for being the epicenter of great Mexican food, has also been at the center of a debate that was steaming hot, not unlike the showstopping delicious fajitas brought out at restaurants that are crackling and sizzling, with big flames and lots of rising steam, and which need a moment to cool down. Please don’t touch the dish, it’s very hot.
Martin Quintana already had a location of his restaurant, The Famous Taco, in Fort Wayne, but he was being prevented from opening a second spot because a rule in that building complex only allowed a sandwich shop to open there.
So Quintana went to court, and the judge ruled that tacos and burritos do, in fact, qualify as “Mexican-style sandwiches.” The judge decided that the sandwich restriction in the space should not only be for “American cuisine-style sandwiches.” The judge also noted in a side comment that “Die Hard” is not a Christmas movie, despite what many misguided people say on the internet.
Quintana, who is 53 and came to America from Mexico in 1988, said he’s very happy about the decision. He said that, along with tacos and burritos, his restaurants also serve tortas, which use bread and definitely are sandwiches. Quintana makes a good point, although he’s already won the case, so there’s really no need to rub it in.
"I have been vigorously arguing on my podcast for years that if wraps are sandwiches, then surely burritos and tacos are sandwiches as well. I'm thrilled that the American legal system agrees with me."
The podcaster continued, “I now know that my hours and months and years spent arguing this topic have been worthwhile and in no way a complete waste of time. Can I thank some of my podcast sponsors who have stuck with me all this time, allowing me to broadcast out to dozens of listeners worldwide?” He was not permitted to thank his sponsors.
In his decision, the judge also wrote, “I guess a hamburger is a sandwich, and a hot dog is a sandwich, even though no one calls them sandwiches and deep down we all know that they aren’t; but chili is definitely not a soup, it’s chili. I want to be very clear about that.”
Refusing to stop there, the judge also ruled that “Silence of the Lambs” is not a horror movie because “although I can’t define what a horror movie is per se, I know one when I see one. ‘Silence of the Lambs’ is more of a thriller, although a creepy one, to be sure.”
The judge was clearly feeling himself because he circled back to his monumental “Die Hard” decision that the action flick is not a Christmas movie: “Having a Christmas tree and a Christmas song in a movie does not automatically make it a Christmas movie. The plot and the moral of the story have to be Christmas-related, at least in some way. What is wrong with the internet?”