Entertainment
Your Totally-Not-Made-Up Weekend Horoscopes (April 26‑28)
Don’t make any weekend plans without consulting these highly authentic, never-fabricated, 100% fact-based weekend horoscopes. I’ve got the spiritual scoop on the next 72 hours, and the stars are telling me you should be on the lookout for sarcasm in the extremely near future.
By Missy Baker · April 26, 2024
Your Odd News Weekend Horoscope
Want to know what the stars have in store for you? Look no further than these very real, totally accurate, definitely not fake Horoscopes. I've called upon my trusted sources in the great beyond to find out exactly what the future holds for all 12 Zodiac signs, even the duds.Will you strike up a romance with a mysterious stranger? Will your family ever respect you? Is everything I'm saying completely made up? Read on to find out! No matter what star sign you were born under, one thing's for sure. You should absolutely, 100% without a doubt, base your entire life on everything you read here. Odd News Show
Aries
I see bed sores in your future. Odd News Show
Gemini
Step away from the razor, Gemini. Odd News Show
Taurus
You tried. Odd News Show
Cancer
They want to take your picture AND get your fingerprints? Wow! Odd News Show
Leo
Trust no one, Leo. Odd News Show
Virgo
What could go wrong? Odd News Show
Libra
You need to get out more, Libra. Odd News Show
Scorpio
It's not gonna happen. Odd News Show
Sagittarius
Keep calm and twitch on. Odd News Show
Capricorn
Credit scores, schmedit scores. Odd News Show
Aquarius
Bless this mess. Odd News Show