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Your Totally-Not-Made-Up Weekend Horoscopes (June 7- 9)

Don’t make any weekend plans without consulting these highly authentic, never-fabricated, 100% fact-based weekend horoscopes.

I’ve got the spiritual scoop on the next 72 hours, and the stars are telling me you should be on the lookout for sarcasm in the extremely near future.

By Missy Baker · June 7, 2024

Your Odd News Weekend Horoscope

Want to know what the stars have in store for you? Look no further than these very real, totally accurate, definitely not fake Horoscopes. I've called upon my trusted sources in the great beyond to find out exactly what the future holds for all 12 Zodiac signs, even the duds.

Will you spend the weekend casually cannonballing into a neighbor's pool or will extended time with your friends and family finally drive you to the brink of insanity? Is everything I'm saying completely made up? Read on to find out!

No matter what star sign you were born under, one thing's for sure. You should absolutely, 100% without a doubt, base your entire life on everything you read here.  Odd News Show

Aries

You WILL hate yourself on Monday.  Odd News Show

Gemini

Remember, it's all in the hips.  Odd News Show

Taurus

You ARE the chosen one.  Odd News Show

Cancer

They won't believe you, but you can try.  Odd News Show

Leo

Looks like you'll be wearing turtlenecks for the rest of the summer.  Odd News Show

Virgo

Let it out, Virgo.  Odd News Show

Libra

Remeber actually wanting to leave the house?  Odd News Show

Scorpio

They must've shrunk.  Odd News Show

Sagittarius

Why, Sag, why?  Odd News Show

Capricorn

Destiny should've texted.  Odd News Show

Aquarius

Another mystery of the universe.  Odd News Show

Pisces

They owe you for this one.  Odd News Show