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Your Totally-Not-Made-Up Weekend Horoscopes (March 29‑31)
Don’t make any weekend plans without consulting these highly authentic, never-fabricated, 100% fact-based weekend horoscopes. I’ve got the spiritual scoop on the next 72 hours, and the stars are telling me you should be on the lookout for sarcasm in the extremely near future.
By Missy Baker · March 29, 2024
Your Odd News Weekend Horoscope
Want to know what the stars have in store for you? Look no further than these very real, totally accurate, definitely not made-up Horoscopes.I've consulted with my trusted sources in the great beyond to find out exactly what the future holds for all 12 Zodiac signs, even the duds.
Will you be bunny-hopping through the daffodils this weekend, or will you end up face-down in a carrot patch? No matter what star sign you were born under, one thing's for sure. You should absolutely, without a doubt, base your entire life on everything you read here. Odd News Show
Aries
Trust your instincts. Odd News Show
Gemini
You may regret taking "bottomless brunch" literally. Odd News Show
Taurus
Get ready to turn your life around... and around. Odd News Show
Cancer
Side effects may include headache, drowsiness, and delusions of grandeur. Odd News Show
Leo
It's called self-care. Odd News Show
Virgo
Winning was not the flex you thought it was. Odd News Show
Libra
Do us all a favor. Odd News Show
Scorpio
Today, romance is spelled H-A-M. Odd News Show
Sagittarius
You will feel seen. Odd News Show
Capricorn
They've asked you repeatedly, Capricorn. Odd News Show
Aquarius
Your lucky numbers are 9-1-1 Odd News Show