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Your Totally-Not-Made-Up Weekend Horoscopes (May 17‑19)
Don’t make any weekend plans without consulting these highly authentic, never-fabricated, 100% fact-based weekend horoscopes.
I’ve got the spiritual scoop on the next 72 hours, and the stars are telling me you should be on the lookout for sarcasm in the extremely near future.
By Missy Baker · May 17, 2024
Your Odd News Weekend Horoscope
Want to know what the stars have in store for you? Look no further than these very real, totally accurate, definitely not fake Horoscopes.I've called upon my trusted sources in the great beyond to find out exactly what the future holds for all 12 Zodiac signs, even the duds.
Will sparks fly with a mysterious stranger? Do you really think it's wise to trust a mysterious stranger? Do I have any idea what I'm talking about? Read on to find out!
No matter what star sign you were born under, one thing's certain. You should absolutely, 100% without a doubt, base your entire life on everything you read here. Odd News Show
Aries
Sorry, this is what the universe wants. Odd News Show
Gemini
You can't afford another ER visit, Gemini! Odd News Show
Taurus
Get off your unicorn, Taurus. Odd News Show
Cancer
The universe is NOT gonna let you sleep in on Sunday. Odd News Show
Leo
What could go wrong? Odd News Show
Virgo
Stop, drop, and roll through your weekend. Odd News Show
Libra
Spinach in your teeth and a knife in your back. Odd News Show
Scorpio
Step away from the scissors, Scorpio. Odd News Show
Sagittarius
Your soul mate was right there all along. Odd News Show
Capricorn
You're not as young as you used to be, Capricorn. Odd News Show
Aquarius
Use soap. Odd News Show